After two months of waiting Adela’s' appointment approvals came in.
I have yet to call and schedule them.
Six new poking, prodding, sleeping and waking appointments.
We waited so long for them.
Still not calling.
These next appointments should give us a glimpse at something, or
should I say anything that would tell us what is happening with my precious
baby.
Still not calling.
I find myself avoiding the phone, and pretending to have
forgotten. I have laundry, the kids, school, cleaning, a husband, dog dookie duty, and
sleep.
Too busy to call.
Today I sat down and noticed her appointment scheduler has called
yet again. I have yet to call her back. A million things run through my mind as her
mother.
What if they tell me she won’t get better?
That in a year she will not be mobile?
What if it hurts her and I can’t take it?
What if she doesn't wake up these next three MRI appointments
from the anesthesia?
What if I make her go through the shocking of all muscles, just
to be told they don't know again?
Then to calm myself I remember my job as her mother, and I should
be hopeful.
Maybe this time it will be a "piece of cake"!
It will be over with and they will tell us nothing will get worse.
Maybe one quick shot will stop it from spreading.
To be honest I just don't want to remind myself that she will
never experience a long walk on the
beach.
Wining her first Olympic medal, or at least the fun in acting
like she might.
Or that I will one day have to let her go, and worry that she
might hurt herself on her own.
Fall down the stairs, because I am not with her.
Someone hurting her because she is an easy target.
Never being able to chase her child down the halls.
I think I’ll call tomorrow.
I'm going to enjoy a few more days.
Besides, I'm too busy anyways.
I have yet to call and schedule them.
Six new poking, prodding, sleeping and waking appointments.
We waited so long for them.
Still not calling.
These next appointments should give us a glimpse at something, or
should I say anything that would tell us what is happening with my precious
baby.
Still not calling.
I find myself avoiding the phone, and pretending to have
forgotten. I have laundry, the kids, school, cleaning, a husband, dog dookie duty, and
sleep.
Too busy to call.
Today I sat down and noticed her appointment scheduler has called
yet again. I have yet to call her back. A million things run through my mind as her
mother.
What if they tell me she won’t get better?
That in a year she will not be mobile?
What if it hurts her and I can’t take it?
What if she doesn't wake up these next three MRI appointments
from the anesthesia?
What if I make her go through the shocking of all muscles, just
to be told they don't know again?
Then to calm myself I remember my job as her mother, and I should
be hopeful.
Maybe this time it will be a "piece of cake"!
It will be over with and they will tell us nothing will get worse.
Maybe one quick shot will stop it from spreading.
To be honest I just don't want to remind myself that she will
never experience a long walk on the
beach.
Wining her first Olympic medal, or at least the fun in acting
like she might.
Or that I will one day have to let her go, and worry that she
might hurt herself on her own.
Fall down the stairs, because I am not with her.
Someone hurting her because she is an easy target.
Never being able to chase her child down the halls.
I think I’ll call tomorrow.
I'm going to enjoy a few more days.
Besides, I'm too busy anyways.