Madison is an amazing child that tries so hard to be helpful to her younger sister, Adelia. Sometimes its really out of a fairytale. Then other times its out of the "Bitch don't steal vibe" chorus to a rap song. Madison's jealousy of her younger sister, all though normal, it is based off of her sisters handicapped, completely not normal. As parents we end up laughing, even though we shouldn't. Madison feels Adelia is spoiled because of her disabilities.
I remember when Adelia had to do horse back riding physical therapy, and Madison would say, "she is so lucky". Wed look around and see all the disabled kids, most not able to eat on their own, and think "How in the hell did she come to that conclusion?". Even though Madison was able to go to her grandfathers and ride as much as she'd like, that was not the point!
Adelia attends many appointments, Madison sees it as she gets to miss a lot of school.
Adelia rides a short bus to school, Madison sees it as she doesn't have to walk to the bus stop.
Adelia falls at least 20 times a day, and has to be consoled because it hurts (she literally just broke her pinky). Madi sees it as she is always babied.
Adelia has minor chores in the house, but we make sure she has some part in helping the family out. Even if its just putting a new trash bag in the can. I need not express what Madison sees on this one!
As you can imagine Madisons' anger with her sister has grown more and more. Started becoming a game Madison knew she could win. Verbal ugliness, and we all know how girls can be at Madisons age. NOT FUN!
So one day I told Madison, I want you to nonchalantly watch your sister and do not let her know and you tell me what you see. She was DOWN for this. I'm sure in her mind she thought oh yeah you're going to get it Adelia. I told Madison she needed to pick up the dog mess in the back yard. Adelia came running (to the best of her capabilities) around the corner, "MOM CAN I HELP HER". My response is no baby, you have to go do your chores. Adelia falls in the poop and becomes highly upset as you can imagine. Next I asked Madison to empty the dishwasher, again Adelia came running around the corner, "MOM CAN I HELP HER". No baby, the dishwasher door gets in your way and you could hurt yourself if you fall with the glass dishes. disappointed shed tear up and go finish her room. After all her chores and homework were done Madison asked if she could go out front and play Basketball, and as usual Adelia came running around the corner with the same excitement and question. This time I said of course you can.
About 10 minutes went by, and I looked out the window. The other kids on the block are tearing it up on the hoop. Madison and Adelia were sitting on the curb. I waited. I thought for sure Madison was going to bring her in and say she is in the way. 3 hours went by and there they sat.
Finally they came in and I asked Madison when Adelia went to take her braces off, what happened? Madison said "she tried so hard to play, but kept falling, and I got tired of picking her up and telling her it was ok, and tired of yelling at the other kids to leave her alone." In my head I thought, SCORE!!! As a parent you get very few opportunities with your teens to teach compassion. So I was going to savor the crap outta this.
Madison, after tucking Adelia in (that night Adelia was granted by Queen Madison permission to sleep in her stinky dirty, filthy, room) she came and sat with me on the couch. She said "mom, I feel bad for Toot", I said "why". I thought HELL YA! woo, woo, go MOM. I just knew she saw how much Adelia struggles to be like her, and how hard her day is always being told, "no you'll get hurt", "slow down", and not being able to run. I just knew it!!
So as I turn and look at Madison to see her great epiphany, she says "her leg braces never match her clothes". FAIL!!!! I thought to myself.
Its been 4 weeks since this day has taken place. All though the conversation of understanding may have been outfit deep. What Madison absorbed that day, she never discussed.
All I know is they haven't slept without each other since. I haven't helped Adelia with her homework, her STISTER as Adelia says will do it. We still have minor MOM moments, but nothing like it was.
Madison is a God send even when she is having her teen moments. She is beyond helpful to Che' and me. The kids truly couldn't ask for a better older sister. Its just unfortunate she is me, so even if she loves the crap outta you, shell never let you think it.